Dealing With Intense Sadness After A Death

Dealing With Intense Sadness After A Death

When you lose a loved one, the feelings of sadness and sorrow is natural. At times it can be overwhelming. While you may recognise the feeling to be normal, it may seem that you can only handle so much. Thus far, you know that you want to stop crying and your heart wants to heal. However, healing may not be an easy undertaking. It is fortunate that there are several things you can learn to live through the emotional pains.

Losing A Loved One

There are many reasons why it is so hard losing a loved one. Firstly, you miss them because they were your real-life companion. Thus far, it does affect your daily routine. So, now that they are no more, you need to adjust to a new lifestyle. You may have difficulty to imagine doing things without them. So, you may need to go to places without them too. If they were your spouse, it makes it even more challenging.

Thus far, you may need to take care of incomplete business. It may be out of your comfort zone because you may not have done it ever before or in a while. So, this complicates the matte even more. You are facing many other challenging issues while finding yourself dealing with the sadness and sorrow.

Grief Signs

The grief and sorrow after losing a loved one may show up in many other ways. So, they may seem complicated feelings of anger, loneliness, anxiety, sadness or guilt. While your thinking may be complex, it is normal. Hence, you may have difficulty to concentrate. So, you may engross about losing a loved one.

Thus, it is common to feel physical symptoms of your grief. It may be a fast heartbeat, short of breath, feel tired, headaches, stomach aches and hyperventilate. You may also feel dizzy, feel weakness or heaviness in your chest or throat. So, you may experience weight loss too. Some people experience behaviour changes and others may cry much more often than normal. There may be a loss of interests in doing things that were enjoyable to you. Thus far, there may be difficulty to sleep and you may be restless.

Grief Is Roller Coaster 

Thus far, grief may be as roller coaster. So rather than a series of phases, you may think of grieving process full of ups and downs. It may have its highs and lows. Hence, like many roller coasters, in the beginning the ride appears to be rougher. So, the lows may be profound and protracted.

As time goes by, the difficult periods will become less intense and shorter. However, it takes time to work through a loss of a loved one. So, even after years of a loss, we may experience a strong sense of grief. This is especially profound at family events like a wedding or birth of a child.

The Grief Stages 

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a psychiatrist, introduced the ‘five stages of grief’ in 1969. These stages of grief have been the result of her research of the feelings of people facing terminal illness. However, many people generalise them to other types of negative life changes and losses. These include a break up or death of a loved one.

Thus far, the five stages of grief are:

Denial: One may experience ‘this can’t be happening to me’.

Anger: You may experience difficulty to rationalise ‘why is this happening’. Thus, may look at who to blame.

Bargaining: One may rationalise such as ‘make this not happen to me, and in return I will….’.

Depression: It may lead the person into depression. So, the person may take refuge in ‘I’m to sad to do anything’.

Acceptance: The person accepts the reality, ‘I’m at peace with what happens’.

If you experience any of these emotions after a loss, it is normal reaction. It helps to know this is natural and you will feel over time. Thus far, not everyone who grieves may go through these phases. It’s okay, it’s natural. Furthermore, contrary to popular belief, each stage is not important to heal. In fact, many people may find solution to their grief without going through any of these stages. Moreover, if you experience going through these phases of grief, it probably may not be in a subsequent order. So, there is nothing to worry about.

Grieving Process

So, grieving process is necessary part of life. There are many ways to help cope with the misery. One has to come to terms with the grief. Thus far, find a way to pick up the pieces and eventually move on with life. So, you should acknowledge your pain and accept that grief may provoke many different emotions. The grieving process will be unique to you. Thus, understand and accept this. You may reach out for a face-to-face support from people who care. So far, you should take care of yourself physically and support yourself emotionally.  Try to know and recognise the difference between grief and depression.

Mourning Definition

Mourning Definition

Mourning is a process that a person goes through to adjust to a loss. It may be death of a loved one that is close and dear to you. Thus far, culture, rituals, and community rules may influence mourning. It may be a different experience for everyone. 

Everyone feels sad from time to time. So, if it occurs most days, for example more than two weeks, it may mean clinical depression. So far, major depression is a period of sadness that causes low motivation and irritation. There may be other symptoms for at least two weeks in a row. For instance, it may be severe enough to cause negative effect on a person’s life.


Thus far, clinical depression is neither a sign of weakness nor a character defect. It is real medical illness that can be treated. So, the brain scans may indicate low activity for a person suffering from depression.

It often worsens many other medical challenges. Especially those that may cause chronic illness. Thus far, the brain chemicals may affect mood swings and pain. So, treating depression helps to improve the symptoms. Hence, outcomes of many physical sickness.


The most noticeable symptoms are sadness and resentful moods. Furthermore, they may lose interest in most activities. They may have enjoyed these previously. Thus far, many patients may experience guilt despite not doing anything wrong. They may often feel worthless and hopeless. Moreover, they may have a recurring intent to self-harm or kill themselves. It could lead to suicide.

Depressions associates with physical symptoms too. Thus far, these may include low energy or tiredness, and sleeping too much. It may be trouble sleeping too. Furthermore, the person may experience aches and pains. Headaches, digestive challenges and muscle cramps are prominent. So, it may cause diarrhea or constipation.

Many people with depression may experience gaining or losing weight substantially. Depression causes an increase or decrease in appetite.

Impacts Life

If depression if left untreated, it causes negative impact on the person’s life. Thus far, it may affect their relationships, career and daily activities. So, people with depression may have troubles to concentrate and make decisions. Hence, they may cease to participate in things they used to enjoy. They may not want to spend time with their loved ones too. So, with severe depression, it may be fatal. It may result in suicide or homicide.

Thus far, it is possible that people with depression may try to commit suicide. They may show warning signs like talking about dying or suicide. It is possible they may threaten to hurt others or take excessive risks like giving away personal belongings. These warning signs should be taken seriously. Hence, provide immediate assistance with experienced professionals.

Developing Depression

Anyone can develop depression. It is widely believed that a family history of depression may be a risk factor. For instance, risk increases for the sibling or child of a person suffering from depression. Thus far, women are said to be twice as likely as men to have this condition. It affects at some point in their lives.

The symptoms of this sickness vary based on age, gender and culture background. So, how often depression occurs may be difficult to determine. Thus far, it is difficult to determine what causes depression. However, mostly an acceptable theory has been a change in brain structure and chemistry. Hence, a substance known as neurotransmitters are out of balance in people with depression. So, the possible causes for the imbalance may be alcohol, certain medicines or abuse. Other causes may be losing a job, seasonal change or a traumatic experience.

Afflicts Children

Research determine that depression afflicts 2% of children in grade school. Thus far, almost 10% if teenagers may suffer from depression. So, it can impair the child and adolescent’s friendships. It may affect school performance too.

Thus far, many symptoms in children are similar to adults suffering from depression. However, it may be more difficult to diagnose in children.

Catholic Mourning Period

Catholic Mourning Period

Mourning and grief expression for any one is exceptionally personal. To lose a loved one is terribly difficult too. Thus far, the amount of time in mourning may differ. The length of grieving process may be different too. So, the grief harshness and depth may depend on the relationship of the deceased person. So is the person’s strength to process and cope with losing a loved one.

Thus far, Roman Catholics have a structured practice of Christianity. It offers assurance, comfort and formal structure during the grieving process.

Service Types

The Catholic Church practice three specific funeral rites. Thus, they have customs and rituals for death and burial of a loved one. It may provide a structure and comfort to the family during these distress times.

Hence, the Vigil Service which may be called the Wake, may be happen at the funeral home or the church. The family normally organises this on the evening before the funeral. So, family members and friends gather to pay their last respects for the deceased. It allows the opportunity to provide comfort and stability to the close family.

Many people who may not be able to attend the Funeral Mass may join in this service. The Vigil service includes prayers, liturgy, and Scripture readings. Thus far, it is an informal gathering which and remembers eulogies with special moments.

The Funeral Mass includes more rituals. A priest will conduct the Mass which may take place in the church. Mostly, the body is present during the service. Thus far, the Funeral Mass contains the Reception of the Body, the Liturgy of the Word, and the Liturgy of the Eucharist. Moreover, the Mass includes the Final Commendation and Farewell.

Finally, a tribute is performed in the Rite of Committal at the cemetery. It conducts either at the crematorium chapel or the graveside. The priest reads a purposeful passage of Scripture and make comforting remarks for the bereaved. Thus far, he presents a statement of committal for returning the body to the earth and concludes with a prayer.

Mourning Traditions

The Catholic church has a history of acceptable rituals and regulations that govern the behaviour of any life experience events. It includes death and morning. Thus far, these rules have not changed over the years. However, the engagement and following such traditions are less stringent today. The priests may lead the Mass and the Committal service. So far, they may play a part in the Vigil services. Laypersons may participate as readers, musicians and ushers during the service. Thus far, pallbearers are normally family members, close friends or specific personnel.

The music to play in the Mass needs to be appropriate and approved church music. Non-religious and pop-music is discouraged in the Mass. They may be meaningful in the Vigil service.

Thus far, each Funeral Mass may have a set of liturgies, It will have the order, structure and words that they use at most funerals. Hence, this form of Mass may provide comfort, assurance and security for the bereaved. The priest sets the pace with carefully chosen words and the symbolic acts. So, mostly the congregation may respond in unison to affirm words of faith and encouragement.

Catholic Mourning Period

The Catholic culture that oversee period and kind of mourning has evolved over many years. Thus far tradition and convenience impact the evolution. So, Catholic Church recognise three classes of mourning.

The most intense is the deep mourning. It does not allow any jewellery with coloured stone. Thus far, the appropriate dress code is all black. However, some cultures approve all white clothing. The next mourning period is known as half mourning. Hence, acceptable clothing is either black with a white trim or white with black trim as dress standard. So, the final stage of mourning is also known as light or second mourning period. It allows mild colour clothing. They may include black and white mixtures, mauves, grey or other softer pastel colours. It allows the use of patterned fabrics during the final period.

The culture has emerged to change in regard to the amount of time in each mourning period. Thus far, it depends on the relationship to the deceased. In fact, for a widow, in the 1950’s, the acceptable standard was one year of deep mourning. Furthermore, it was to follow by six months of half mourning. Then, another six months of light mourning. So, nowadays provision has been made to lessen the time frame.

Evolution Acceptance

Nowadays, it accepts for a spouse to observe one year and a day in mourning. Therefore, deep mourning is for the first thirty days. Thus far, it considers other stages of mourning periods as optional. So, half and light mourning may be equally divided in the remaining time. During this the mourning a spouse may not accept nor offer attention to the opposite sex during the year of mourning.

The Catholic tradition encourages the parents or children of the deceased to spend six months in mourning. Whereas grandparents and siblings may observe three months in mourning. Thus far, the first thirty days to be deep mourning. Other family members may observe thirty days in mourning.

Moreover, these traditions often depend on personal preference. The person’s commitment level to the rituals and the church may influence their preference. Thus far, nowadays, it is normal to see widows or widowers wearing colours only to church or on formal occasions

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